


drag the ones you love down

by kawaii_alpacasso



Category: Loveless
Genre: Depression, I tried with the point of view, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 13:29:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4139343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kawaii_alpacasso/pseuds/kawaii_alpacasso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ritsuka loves soubi. soubi loves ritsuka. but when ritsuka is going through hell, not even soubi can comfort him.</p>
<p>can he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	drag the ones you love down

_you're so useless_

_you're just a nuisance!_

_why were you even born?_

I don't know.

you tell me.

why was i born?

it's not like i have any special talents.

i'm not going to grow up and become some millionaire.

i'm just going to grow up and become ritsuka.

loveless, that's all.

that's all.

that's all i am.

i am loveless.

it's not my fault.

is it?

maybe it is.

Ritsuka coughs up the water he just sipped. Soubi is there, as concerned as ever, but that doesn't help. It makes it worse.

why are you here? don't you see it hurts? leave me alone.

"Soubi," Ritsuka falls into Soubi's chest, and he's there to catch him with strong but careful arms. His body tenses, his breath hitching. His eyes are clenched. "I'm tired."

Soubi speaks in a fashion similar to his style of catching - careful. His voice is barely audible, but Ritsuka hears him clearly, like a deer to his hunter. "Rest, Ritsuka-"

"No!" Ritsuka nearly screams. It scratches his throat, but it's a worthy sacrifice. "Not like that. Not… like that."

Soubi pauses for a moment, giving Ritsuka enough time to take a weary breath. "What other form of being tired is there, master?"

He speaks quickly and lowly.

don't talk like that. it burns.

"Soubi." Ritsuka backs away just enough to gaze up at Soubi. "Kio has told me about how you were with Seimei."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

it hurts.

"You… had no purpose." Ritsuka meets eye contact. "No will."

get up.

stop this.

"You're too young to understand things like that, Ritsuka."

Soubi understands well that what he said was a lie.

"Don't give me that!"

He understands well that Ritsuka has been through as much as he has.

"I'm not a kid!"

He understands well that he has produced anger and fury within Ritsuka.

"I've been through hell and back!"

But being scolded…

"Please believe me for once!"

…is better than making him go through another breakdown.

Then a moment of silence.

"I think it's time for you to rest."

You're so pretty when you're angry, master.

seimei used to love me.

you say you do, too, soubi.

but i don't feel it.

i don't feel anything.

right now, while you're breathing, and you're staring at me with those eyes, i don't feel anything.

i'm just numb.

that's not my fault.

is it?

maybe it is.

"Ritsuka." Soubi leans to make up for the space put between them during the argument. Ritsuka's lips taste like a blend of vanilla and fruit. But they feel like passion and hatred.

Be conflicting.

I love it.

His tongue enters Ritsuka's mouth easily. Ritsuka has tears in his eyes, and his throat still burns. But he's sure that the burning isn't what is making him cry.

Put up a fight.

I love it.

Soubi explores him. Ritsuka digs his nails into his shoulders.

Command me.

I love it.

"Restrain yourself, Soubi."

Make me a slave.

I love it.

"Soubi! Please!"

But remain yourself.

I love you.

Don't falter.

Be my sacrifice.

Not my fighter.

Be weak. 

It's okay.

It's okay.

i feel alive.

but weak.

that's not my fault.

is it?

maybe it isn't.

maybe it isn't a fault.

maybe i'm okay.

 

 

~

 

 

this is to those who have ever felt hurt,

felt pain,

felt love,

felt different,

felt obsolete,

felt strange,

felt out-of-place,

felt inhuman,

felt weak,

or felt nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> again, based on jenny by nothing more.
> 
> this took around 2 nights.


End file.
